Monday Confessions

Monday's are hard, y'all. Not only do Mondays bring the sometimes daunting list of things that need to be done in the upcoming week, but that also drag along the weekend guilt of the things that didn't get checked off that always growing to-do list.

I get it. I am right there with you. That is why I've decided to make my Mondays a little less guilt ridden and I invite you to do the same.

Every Monday I will post a confession about my life, my kids, myself - something that I am feeling a little guilt for doing (or for neglecting) and get it off my shoulders. That way I have one less weight to carry into my week. I am my worst critic, and I'm sure you are too. Self-forgiveness is a gift we can only give to ourselves and it can do us a world of good!

To kick this off, here is my first confession;

I am a technology-embracing Mom. 

I know there are a lot of people who have strong feelings about young children and screen time and opinions vary widely. Some feel there is no reason for it, others don’t see the harm. I fall somewhere in between.

When I was 10 years old, my dad brought home two giant boxes with big black dots on them and set them in our living room. I wasn’t excited because I was 10 and was clueless about the machine that would from then on be a part of my life. That computer was a Gateway, in more ways than just its brand.

Photo by Justus Menke on Unsplash

I learned to navigate what was then the (incredibly limited World Wide Web on that beast, spent hours playing MegaRace (mainly because it crashed regularly), and spent countless hours experimenting in the Microsoft Paint Program. It is because of that clunky, oversized machine that I have my technological knowledge today. It’s why I’m comfortable with and embrace the phone, tablet, laptop, etc. advances we continue to see. 

And it is why I don’t have a problem with my boys learning from an early age how to navigate the technology that will continue to dominate our lives. 

That doesn’t mean they get free, unsupervised range. The shows they watch and the games they play are closely monitored, as well as just how much time they spend lounging around with their tablets. Nor are they simply handed their devices without earning them.

There are specific things they need to accomplish (school, homework, chores, etc.) before screen time is even an option. And to keep them from asking every five minutes, we have implemented a checklist I downloaded (for free!) from Where’d My Sanity Go. It’s a great visual representation that they can check themselves before coming to me. It not only saves my ears from the repeated question, but also makes them responsible for their own responsibilities.

So, there is it, my first Monday Confession (deep breath in. And exhale). I feel a little lighter and a bit more ready to focus on the other tasks that have already filled my to-do list, including those pesky projects that didn’t quite get accomplished over the weekend. 

I hope you will join me in finding a way to lessen your load and start the week with a little less guilt, Let’s not forget we are all humans trying to do the best we can.

A Helping Hand

 Photo by Pedro Figueras from Pexels

Sometimes life can feel like we are just wandering around in a fog, randomly bumping into people and things. I know I certainly feel that way at times, usually on Mondays after a long or stressful weekend. But with the unprecedented complications a lot of us have these days, that fog seems to be thicker than usual. There are so many decisions to be made that change almost daily. There are conflicting messages all over the news, our social media, and among our friends and family. Are masks effective? Should we be dining in at restaurants? Is it safe to send our children to school? These are questions about situations that we have never before given much thought to.

As if these daily reminders that we are living in a different world are not enough, we are often bombarded with aggressive, opposing opinions, usually by complete strangers. This is a prime example of the old saying "the best and worst part of the internet is everybody has a voice".

How, then, do we make it through our day feeling like we are enough?

We reach for the other hands wading through the fog. The best way to feel grounded is by connecting with like-minded people - people who can lend an understanding ear, help put things in a different perspective, and who can motivate you to believe in yourself. Simply knowing that we are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the disaster our children have turned our home into or by the entourage of questionable and seemingly constantly changing circumstances we are in is oftentimes enough to recenter ourselves.

Photo by bin Ziegler from Pexels

This is why it is so important to find a community (or build one!) that is safe and welcoming. Luckily, we live in a day and age when this is done much easier than previous generations. There are Facebook groups for nearly every interest imaginable, there are blogs (such as this one!), virtual book clubs, you can even create watch parties with your friends and family. I haven't tried that last one yet, but I'm dying to do a virtual playdate/movie for my boys!

The pandemic has shaken all of us up and made us look at life a little differently, but it's important to remember that we are not alone. And while it has stretched our creativity when it comes to feeling connected to the world, I hope that it has also deepened our knowledge of how important it is to be kind to one another. As the Master of my sons' taekwondo school says, "we are all in the same storm, but not in the same boat." Everyone has their battles to fight and no one should have to fight them alone.